Monday, August 31, 2009

a few words

I think I am afraid to love because I have been hurt before. It sounds so cliche and I hate even saying it, but its true. I didn't know a past relationship gone wrong could have this much affect on my present. But everytime I picture myself getting close to someone, I push them away not even realizing what I'm doing. I just gave SO MUCH in my last relationship; time, love, effort, forgiveness, everything. Now I don't think anyone will ever give me the same amount of love I can give them. I'm scared of getting hurt again, that things won't work out. Falling and no one will be there to pick me up. I guess I would rather be alone that hurt ever again.. but whats life without love and/or sacrifice. Who knows until I try again? Let someone in again? LOVE AGAIN...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

native tongue

tip toeing through your mental, leaving footprints for you to follow to reach your full potential. no limits to love when you become creative. exploring your heart like its a foreign land, but speaking its language like im native.

proud of my sister

long beach pacific islander festival

surfingggg


a beautiful struggle, according to..

So, yesterday I REALLY just wanted to give up, like literally say fuck everything. THATS how horrible my day was going, it was like one blow right after another. The world did not seem to want to give me any kind of slack... but thanks to all the encouraging words from my friends and family I went to sleep deciding that today I would wake up and it would be time to grind. I realized when the world keeps pushing you, you just have to push back. No love taps, but SHOVE! I think being 20 is such a hard age, the decisions I make right now are going to shape the rest of my life. I know most of what I want, like the things that will make me happy and what I want to do. The thing I am more worried about is the financial part.. I want to do things I am passionate about, like.. photography, writing. Those aren't careers that are very stable. Isn't it sad that money is so important that we sacrifice what we love to do in order to be able to live? Society complains that we are a money driven country, but is that our fault when the government makes the cost of living SO HIGH? Anyways, sorry I am getting boring now. BYE!

I WANNNTTT

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

on the brightside - nevershoutnever!

i met a man of two feet tall
this man was quite ambitious
in a world that is so vicious
to us all

i said hi
as he replied
he said listen to these words that i have lived by my whole life

you're only as tall
as your heart will let you be
and you're only as small
as the world will make you seem
and when the going gets rough
and you feel like you may fall
just look on the bright side
your roughly six feet tall

i met a man of twelve feet tall
he towered like a giant
in a world that was defiant
of his height

i said hi
as he replied
he said listen to these words
that i have dreaded my whole life

you're only as tall
as your heart will let you be
and you're only as small
as the world will make you seem
and when the going gets rough
and you feel like you may fall
just look on the bright side
your roughly six feet tall

i am a man of six feet tall
just looking for some answers
in a world that answers none of them at all

I'll say hi
but not reply to the letters
that you write because
i found some peace of mind

cause im only as tall
as my heart will let me be
and im only as small as the world will make me seem
and when the going gets rough
and i feel like i may fall
I'll look on the bright side
im roughly six feet tall.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

YESSS

Photobucket

mixed feelings.

when i woke up i swore i loved you
now im falling asleep and i dont even know you
i tell you everything
and nothing at the same time
when i tell you what you want to hear
i break your heart
because tomorrow these words i force myself to speak
wont mean a thing
to me
but since they meant the world to you
the world as we know it
is now broken
your half
and my half
forgive me
when i tell you to leave
i really mean please stay
when i tell you i miss you
i really mean stay away
i want you, i really do
but ask me tomorrow
and ill let you know if this is still true

rmk