Tuesday, November 17, 2009

whats in your briefcase?


Thursday, November 12, 2009


friends with my monster

the lonely monster awaits
till its pitch black to attack
i wait till he is near
and invite the monster in
he is surprised by my initial reaction
yet it becomes a welcoming distraction
what a funny thing
to be-friend the creature that taunts you


Monday, November 9, 2009

do you find this offensive? or ...

I find this shirt, which I found on karmaloop.com, very offensive. What do you think? Am I being overly dramatic?

alone in the unknown

the lights escapes through slivers of your hair
shining onto me
i can feel the suns warmth
i soak it in
stare into oblivion

i wait.

is this just a dream?
when will i wake up?
i hope i don't wake up
to find myself alone in the unknown
i am startled when you say something
your words are distant, far away
you reach out for me
invite me into you
pull me in closer, closer
so close, but never close enough

my hand makes itself at home
where your heart is
a passionate embrace
a soft sweet kiss
i pull back and study your face
count your freckles

i awaken
you are gone
i cannot find you
so i lay here alone in the unknown
& this is my reality
without you

ill see you again, in my dreams


Monday, November 2, 2009

halloween sd to sb :)

a man runs over his OWN daughter, smh

(CNN) -- A 20-year-old woman from Iraq has died in an Arizona hospital, nearly two weeks after her father, police say, ran her over with a car because she had become "too Westernized."

Noor Faleh Almaleki died Monday of injuries suffered when she was run over October 20 in a parking lot in the Phoenix suburb of Peoria, Arizona, police there said. Authorities said they expect to change the aggravated assault charge against her father, Faleh Hassan Almaleki, 48, to more severe counts after meetings with prosecutors, Peoria police announced.

Peoria police said Faleh Hassan Almaleki believed his daughter had become "too Westernized" and had abandoned "traditional" Iraqi values. Peoria police spokesman Mike Tellef told CNN the family moved to the Phoenix area in the mid-1990s, and Almaleki was unhappy with his daughter's style of dress and her resistance to his rules.

After the incident, Almaleki's father drove to Mexico, abandoning his vehicle in Nogales, Peoria police said. He then made his way to Mexico City and boarded a plane to Britain, where authorities denied him entry into the country and put him on a plane back to the United States, police said.

A friend of the daughter, Amal Edan Khalaf, 43, also suffered serious injuries in the attack, police said. Almaleki faces a separate aggravated assault charge in connection with her injuries.

He is currently held in Phoenix, with bail has been set at $5 million, Tellef said.



when i love, i love hard.. that is why i dont just give my heart to anybody. i dont want to invest my time & heart into someone who is incapable of returning that same love, time, and effort. i dont want to give my all to someone who does not deserve it; so until then ill patiently wait. wait for something, settle for nothing... & focusing on bettering myself in the meantime

Sunday, October 11, 2009


I feel like writing. Good morning America! Another cold Sunday, I love it; I have my spandex, uggs, and hoodie on. Anywho, whatever happened to Spontaneity? I think everyone is afraid to do something unplanned, out of the ordinary. Not knowing the outcome of a decision is kind of scary.. but sometimes I believe that is the best part of committing a spontaneous act. Stop being afraid people! That is what I am trying to do. I know its easier said than done, but thought turns into action. I believe that!

ocean beach & a chai

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

For Rolly

When God created you
he reached into the bluest part of the sky
and this is how he made your eyes
on my loneliest of days
I look up and search for you in heaven
the beauty I see means nothing
if you are not here to share it with
then I remember that you have seen it all
and I have experienced nothing
I only know the stories of your worldly adventures
those that encourage me to go on my own journey
the sky inspires me
the bluest part
your eyes


Friday, September 18, 2009

do you beleive in me?

free write

i need to be restored. my mind is broken, my heart is broken. i am in a billion pieces. where is the handyman i long for? if you know anyone available, please tell them my heart has an opening. i pay well. i offer benefits, such as insurance. if i break your heart, i promise to give you a new one.

my heart is an untold story. in search of a talented writer to organize my life into an enchanting tale. someone who will add his own twist, i will want to eat up his every word. his writings will cast a spell on me, and leave me wondering what will happen next. he will give me the perfect ending, even if its not happily ever after.

take my picture. im hiring a photographer to capture my heart. he will take my picture, and show me how beautiful i am. something i have not seen in a while. he will show me the perfect way to pose. his camera will capture all my love.

but my soul needs a caretaker, most of all. there is a lonely sign, hanging in the vacant window of my heart that reads:



Thursday, September 17, 2009

steppin on kittens

"fuck you kanye, its like you stepped on a kitten" - katy perry

'hills like white elephants'

'What did you say?'
'I said we could have everything.'
'No, we can't.'
'We can have the whole world.'
'No, we can't.'
'We can go everywhere.'
'No, we can't. It isn't ours any more.'
'It's ours.'
'No, it isn't. And once they take it away, you never get it back.'
'But they haven't taken it away.'

-by ernest hemingway

my new favorite short story, pls read it!

Monday, August 31, 2009

a few words

I think I am afraid to love because I have been hurt before. It sounds so cliche and I hate even saying it, but its true. I didn't know a past relationship gone wrong could have this much affect on my present. But everytime I picture myself getting close to someone, I push them away not even realizing what I'm doing. I just gave SO MUCH in my last relationship; time, love, effort, forgiveness, everything. Now I don't think anyone will ever give me the same amount of love I can give them. I'm scared of getting hurt again, that things won't work out. Falling and no one will be there to pick me up. I guess I would rather be alone that hurt ever again.. but whats life without love and/or sacrifice. Who knows until I try again? Let someone in again? LOVE AGAIN...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

native tongue

tip toeing through your mental, leaving footprints for you to follow to reach your full potential. no limits to love when you become creative. exploring your heart like its a foreign land, but speaking its language like im native.

proud of my sister

long beach pacific islander festival


a beautiful struggle, according to..

So, yesterday I REALLY just wanted to give up, like literally say fuck everything. THATS how horrible my day was going, it was like one blow right after another. The world did not seem to want to give me any kind of slack... but thanks to all the encouraging words from my friends and family I went to sleep deciding that today I would wake up and it would be time to grind. I realized when the world keeps pushing you, you just have to push back. No love taps, but SHOVE! I think being 20 is such a hard age, the decisions I make right now are going to shape the rest of my life. I know most of what I want, like the things that will make me happy and what I want to do. The thing I am more worried about is the financial part.. I want to do things I am passionate about, like.. photography, writing. Those aren't careers that are very stable. Isn't it sad that money is so important that we sacrifice what we love to do in order to be able to live? Society complains that we are a money driven country, but is that our fault when the government makes the cost of living SO HIGH? Anyways, sorry I am getting boring now. BYE!


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

on the brightside - nevershoutnever!

i met a man of two feet tall
this man was quite ambitious
in a world that is so vicious
to us all

i said hi
as he replied
he said listen to these words that i have lived by my whole life

you're only as tall
as your heart will let you be
and you're only as small
as the world will make you seem
and when the going gets rough
and you feel like you may fall
just look on the bright side
your roughly six feet tall

i met a man of twelve feet tall
he towered like a giant
in a world that was defiant
of his height

i said hi
as he replied
he said listen to these words
that i have dreaded my whole life

you're only as tall
as your heart will let you be
and you're only as small
as the world will make you seem
and when the going gets rough
and you feel like you may fall
just look on the bright side
your roughly six feet tall

i am a man of six feet tall
just looking for some answers
in a world that answers none of them at all

I'll say hi
but not reply to the letters
that you write because
i found some peace of mind

cause im only as tall
as my heart will let me be
and im only as small as the world will make me seem
and when the going gets rough
and i feel like i may fall
I'll look on the bright side
im roughly six feet tall.

Saturday, August 15, 2009



mixed feelings.

when i woke up i swore i loved you
now im falling asleep and i dont even know you
i tell you everything
and nothing at the same time
when i tell you what you want to hear
i break your heart
because tomorrow these words i force myself to speak
wont mean a thing
to me
but since they meant the world to you
the world as we know it
is now broken
your half
and my half
forgive me
when i tell you to leave
i really mean please stay
when i tell you i miss you
i really mean stay away
i want you, i really do
but ask me tomorrow
and ill let you know if this is still true


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

whale wars!

i LOVEEEEE this show

Friday, July 24, 2009

where there is hope

my mind is blank
my heart is empty
my soul is lost
my eyes are tired
my hands hold nothing
yet my feet continue to move
because i still have hope


Wednesday, July 8, 2009


when we touch its poetic, beautiful. a bit angelic, for a moment i have wings. and in that moment my feathers will brush your cheeks, just enough to wipe away your tears. your doubts, brush away your fears. ill give you something you never thought of, unthinkable. unattainable. we will adapt, this is more than a belief or feeling. we have made it a true fact. no my love, no pact is needed. we are bonded forever, we share the same heart. lets not break it apart


Monday, June 8, 2009

on a mission to have sex with dwight howards biceps!


i miss this blog spot =[

Friday, May 22, 2009

buenos dias

So I'm laying here at 935am watching made, and some people are straight ridiculous. Are these people for real? I didn't know some people were so sheltered. Anyways, got color on my new tattoo last night, it hurt like hell. One more session and my tattoo will be done. Seriously debating on getting a full sleeve. Might as well now since I'm half way there. Absolutely nothing to do this whole day, what to do with myself... I wish it was hotter so I could go to the beach. No more class, so happy for summer.

I've lost my creativity, and I cannot find it. Its really fustrating!! I have been itching to write any and everything but can't seem to write anything down! Grrrr.

Let's get some greek food and see a awesome movie tonite ! Sounds perfect =)

Oh, and got a new puppy his name is Buster. So cute, pics coming asap.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

dear summer,

Yess, done with this semester !! Let the summer festivities begin =)
My goal this summer is to learn how to surf.
Got a job at armani so kissing the phone job goodbye, thank the lord.
Also I am now an assistant coach for a 12 and under boys bball team (this should be very interesting) lol
Ok, byeee

Thursday, May 14, 2009

body language

communication through body language; is where most of our dialogue is recieved, no need for words each thought is percieved. flashbacks of conversations from last night makes me want to time travel, each word spoken makes my heart and mind unravel. anxious to see you reach your peak, i need to talk to you but there will be no words to speak. read me, . . [Rmk]

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

a hard ? & an easy ?

easy question:

what do you dislike about yourself?

hard question:

what do you like about yourself?

maybe ?

i sit on the same bench
in hopes that maybe
you will pass me by
and on the way to the bench
i pick a flower
and lay it down beside me
so that maybe
if you fail to see the beauty i possess
the flowers beauty will catch your eye
and when you see the flower
you will see me too


Thursday, April 30, 2009

mike posner

Friday, April 24, 2009

boots with the fur


Thursday, April 23, 2009

oh. yeaaaahh

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


no words needed because my demeanor speaks for itself. you wanna take all of me since you convinced yourself that im good for your health. you know you dont need me, but you want me more that you ever needed anything else. and if your in need of passion and love then maybe i can help.


Sunday, April 19, 2009


such a nice weekend, but today was the best day ever. church, beach, and a cold starbucks drink. pictures coming soon.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

5 years

Wow, so today its been 5 years since my older brother, Carlos, was hit and killed by a drunk driver. I miss him dearly, he was just 21 years old when he passed away... so young.

God always takes the best ones first!!

Rest in Peace brother, ily


to get this blog back up and running smoothly !

i misss it


im back thoughhhh


Wednesday, April 1, 2009


okay, apologies. im not keeping up with my blog =[
its hard to find time to post when life is taking place..
especially with 2 jobs and school.

movies you MUST watch:

Harvey Milk
Miracle at St Anna

SOOO good!

ps. i want a new car! damn CA for raising taxes on everything!!

ok, well must get ready for an appointment at 1pm, then work at 3pm.

ill do some cool posts ASAP!

stay up worrrlddd

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

thinking freely

intelligent minds, two of a kind. hallucinations of passionate nights replay in my mind. record, fast forward, play, and rewind. pause and reflect, my heart feels inclined. to pour out its contents and lay them out on the table. i only want you, no title or label. wasnt ready before, you make me willing and able. innocent dialogue converting to deep conversation. my mind didnt want this but my heart took over with persuasion. it added you and i together and brought love into the equation.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

4loco and headbands


a person, esp. of the late 1960s, who rejected established institutions and values and sought spontaneity, direct personal relations expressing love, and expanded consciousness, often expressed externally in the wearing of casual, folksy clothing and of beads, headbands, used garments, etc.

A person who opposes and rejects many of the conventional standards and customs of society, especially one who advocates extreme liberalism in sociopolitical attitudes and lifestyles.

someone who rejects the established culture; advocates extreme liberalism in politics and lifestyle

Friday, March 20, 2009

balboa park

obama & leno

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


"if society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom"

but what is FREEDOM? i guess everyone has their own opinion on freedom and what it is. mine is to be able to do what you want, do what makes you happy, & be who you are. period. though i think society makes us feel little when we do not conform to what the so-called norm is. what is norm? the norm is whatever society says the norm is. for example, fitting in, the friends you have, certain styles, talking a certain way, mannerisms, etc. if theres one thing i want to do in life, it is to make people realize that it is ok to be an individual and instead of looking to your right and left to see what everyone else is doing before you make a decision; look inside yourself !


damn it, we know you are both sexy. pffff; show offs!


Sunday, March 15, 2009

march madness



Friday, March 13, 2009

insomnia & fresh prince

thoughts at 330am:
*i work too much
*im only going to get 4 hours of sleep
*perception is reality
*what am i doing tonight?
*what am i going to wear today?
*i need to paint my nails
*i want coffee
*when is it going to get hot?
*i need a new book to read
*i want summer to be here!
*i should go to sleep, like NOW...


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

HS glass shattering dunk

On March 5 in Cut Bank, Mont., Isaiah Martin, a 5-foot-11 senior guard for Harlem's boys basketball team, dunked during warmups for a high school tournament game with Shelby.

There was a shower of glass as the backboard shattered.

Harlem had to forfeit the game.

According to the Montana High School Association, dunking is not allowed in pregame warmups in tournament play. If a backboard is damaged by a pregame dunk, the offending school must forfeit. The rule was put in 10 years ago.

chuck e cheese !