Saturday, January 24, 2009

living or just existing?

I'm amazed on how things can change so quickly. Have you ever looked back to the past and think who was I then? How did I get HERE? My grandpa being in the hospital is making me think a lot about life, and not just my life... but LIFE in general. I just think its unbelievable how there are so many people in life, that don't really live. They exist, and I think its so sad to wake up one day and realize that you didn't live your life to the fullest. My ultimate goal in life is to LIVE my life the way that makes me happiest. I swear to myself that I will not allow anyone else bring me down or shape the decisions I make. Time flies, and the thing that scares me most is waking up an old lady and having regrets that I didn't do this or that, didn't do what made me happy, didn't make my own choices. When I look back to the life I have led so far, I am content. I have a wonderful family, the best friends, I have had more good times than most can count in a lifetime, I've found something I'm passionate about, I work, I go to school, I've had ups, downs, in- betweens, I have loved with my whole heart and gave everything I could towards it, I've had my heartbroken, I have forgiven, I have forgot; then I think of how much MORE I want to do: more nights that turn into mornings, graduate from college, love, get married, have kids, be the best mom ever, successful career, grow old, travel, own a house, baby sit my grand kids, etc. In these hard times, we still have so much to be thankful for, I am truly thankful for my past, present, and opportunity for the future; living life, not existing.

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